About: Born in a provincial castle in Cagliostro, a small country of dubious geographic existence, I was then smuggled away as small child from the palace walls by traveling minstrels. Growing weary of my constant tirade of barbed witicisms, they abandoned me in a forest. Here a family of wolves took me in as their own. I spent many long years in their esteemed company, finally succumbing to a greater desire to see the world. I left them with my best wishes and a bottle of Cognac as a parting gift and set forth. The journey would see me undertake stints as a shophand, bull fighter, amateur astronaut, T-shirt designer, ninja, jewelery store spruiker, professional thief, jedi knight, umbrella tester, bullshit artist and cruiser-weight kick boxer. After years of nomadic wanderings, I settled in Brisbane and took the post of ASLAV crewman so as to provide adequate protection to Shoalwater Bay from ever-invading hordes of communists and pseudo-nazi targetry. Watch this space, surely at some point the truth will be interesting enough to replace the above nonsense.